Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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