I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
