it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
