we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
