There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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