I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
