Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
