please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I didn't notice because vodka
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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