I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
