batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
