If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
