YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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