thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
