I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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