i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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