sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
