They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
