who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
