I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I love you. Go after that dick
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