i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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