Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
