No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
