There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
