True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
