this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
