I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
