CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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