why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
