Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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