I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize