yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
