Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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