The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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