My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
