The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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