I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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