how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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