I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
