is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
