She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
