i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize