Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
