You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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