Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My pussy is not your playground.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
