I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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