I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
