Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have aggressive nipples.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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