please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
