I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
