So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
