did you get engaged???
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
