would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
