Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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