How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it was like having sex with a tree stump
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
