Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
