I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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