How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
