So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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