Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize