Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
