yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
